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31 December 2015 @ 11:49 am
End of year post  
I got cats! Susu and Suhina, two black and white, really kind fur babies. I've learned so much about cats and worried and rejoiced. There is more laughter in my life because cats are silly. And they are soft and they purr.

Things at uni have progressed quite well otherwise, but my issues with anxiety seem to be getting worse instead of better. Namely, I get stomach cramps during things like seminar days, and even if I'm at home during my free time, I seem to have this feeling of nervousness in my tummy. I'd like to learn some exercises for relaxing, but I'm also at that point where I wonder if I should seriously reach out to a doctor. This is very scary to me. I will probably continue postponing making the decision. I don't know why it seems that things are only getting worse. Everything otherwise is going so well. I got funding for another year of studies, I'm doing what I want to do, I'm a bit lonely but the cats help. Everyone at uni is incredibly friendly and helpful and keeps telling me I'm doing great. And still I feel so stressed. It doesn't make any sense, I hate it.

I only made one trip abroad, to see Garbage in London. It was fun and Garbage was awesome; so proud of them and proud that I'm their fan and glad that I could be there. Travelling though, in general, doesn't feel as much fun as it used to, to me. I don't know if it's because I have cats now, though admittedly I've had somewhat mixed feelings from my travels already for the past 2-3 years. I find it so tiring now, and maybe like I'm not getting as much out of it as I'd like to. I don't have romantic, idealistic views about places (anymore?), so I don't see myself being the person who says things like "oh yes, Tokyo is a WONDERFUL place!". I can list reasons to visit, but I sort of lack enthusiasm. I think travelling has in some ways become something that I have to do to get certain experiences (seeing Garbage live, for instance) and not really worth it just for itself. It can also be really stressful. My view might change if I had a partner whose company I genuinely enjoyed, but until that day, mehh.

I'm also not looking forward to the first time I need to go to a conference abroad. lol Combine the stress of an academic environment where I need to prove myself, AND travelling on top of that. I will probably die inside.

Is fun lawlz I am going to sample a new game every week next year, so that will be fun or really awful.

Uhhh see my posts for the best TV shows ever...

Hello! Project
A shit-ton of new members were announced or debuted this year. Like 28 or some shit like that. I'm both excited and a bit worried and overwhelmed. Tsunku stepping down as a producer in H!P has been sad, but I've also enjoyed the H!P songs that weren't written by him. As a person, though, I've come to respect him even more. One of the reasons why I had faith in H!P all these years is because the main producer was a genuinely good guy. I hope that the people taking over have similar ideals and respect for the members.
Tove :): Adventure Time - Jake is ready for his ctwissie on January 1st, 2016 12:11 am (UTC)
Cats!!! I try to like your instagram pictures from time to time, but let me just tell you straight up that I love all your cat picture sharing :DDD they're so adorbssss.

I am sorry to hear about your anxiety and stress issues!!! I can relate to that a lot. I reached out to my doctor once, but despite his referral, I was not granted public psych care, and I just can't bring myself to get in touch with a private psych service for my problems. I continue to slog through the mud on my own. I've been trying various kinds of self-help anxiety remedies since I was 16. Change has been painfully slow, but this year, I've really felt a difference in my attitude. I guess the hardest lesson to learn was that things won't just magically get better on their own. You have to be scared and stressed a lot before things get easier. But they do eventually get a little easier. But only if you work at it. Let me know if you ever need anyone to talk to about this. Google hangout, phone, irc, whatever - know that I'm always here if you need me :)

I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOUR GAMING CHALLENGE THING!!! It sounds like so much fun :D Would also be a really cool YouTube series, honestly. :OOO

HAPPY NEW YEAR, I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST FOR 2016. Let's meet up again in 2016!!!
Sari: ga-in unfshirenu on January 1st, 2016 08:26 am (UTC)
XDDDD Thanks! My adorbs silly babies...

Aw thank you twissie ♥ I remember when you got the referral. It's weird, online the advice seems to be that if it's affecting/limiting certain parts of your life you should go see a doctor, but then you can't be sure you will get the help you want/need anyway.

LOL YAS I've actually been looking at some streaming options, even installed some programs, but then I'd have to have the courage to first test the stream and... I might have to set it up every week so I'm not sure I'll have the time/energy, but at least it's an option 8)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! ^_____^ I wish you the best with all your adventures, too!!